Murphy's Law and My Herd

I am no fan of Murphy's Law. In fact, I sometimes think those "laws" were put into place just to mess with me. Here is how Murphy and his Laws relate to my Herd:

The Bread Always Lands Jelly Side Up

Jack is our number one thrower-of-food and the supreme mess-maker. I will tell you that doesn't matter what kind of jelly- grape and strawberry both splat on the floor. It isn't just jelly either! Butter, Nutella, peanut butter, chicken salad, ham with mayo- it all lands on the floor equally.

If Anything Can go Wrong, it Will

Classic example: We actually made it to our annual portrait session with a clan of clean and happy kids- only to have the youngest conjure up a massive diaper-blowout, the family before us was about an hour behind schedule so we had to have lunch while waiting... which led to two kids getting a ketchup splotch on their outfit. And then we were into nap time- and you know how that goes! We got some great pictures after promising ice cream!

Left to Themselves, Things Tend to go From Bad to Worse

My boys prove this every day. I can't leave them alone for more than 60 seconds.

Yesterday Owen needed to cool down after a gnarly fit- so my oldest put him in his room. When the thuds on the wall gave way to desperate wails, I ran upstairs and found his leg is stuck in the slats of his headboard. Above the knee. And it was stuck really good. Quick Ninja Mommy Skills got him out lickety-split (with a little oil) Everything in our house is a platform to jump from, climb over or color on. I have given up on going to bathroom in total privacy.

If Everything Seems to be Going Well,
You Have Obviously Overlooked Something

This goes hand-in-hand with the last law. Be it overlooking the power of my boys or the sharpie I left hidden but not locked up. Or the simple fact that quiet play typically means shenanigans are going on...

Things Get Worse Under Pressure

For Ainsley and Owen, pressure kills. Meltdowns, stress-sweats and wigging out. and all it takes is one little trigger to send them into a frenzy. Ella's trigger seems to be not being able to find something (shoes, a favorite toy, etc) with or with out a deadline. Hunger is probably the only thing that bothers Jack And Maddy, well, she is a teenager- most things bother her.

 Me, on the other hand, I thrive under pressure. I guess that is how I survive daily life with a Herd!

Everything Goes Wrong All at Once

Example: this morning I had three daycare families arrive at once. At the same time a daycare baby is struggling with separation anxiety- and I didn't think to bring him to the door with me, so he was upset. Ainsley peeked over the banister and told me her blinds fell off the wall. At the SAME time Jack wanted  to get on the potty. (so I stripped him and ran him to the training seat...only to realize he had pooped. that was fun) this was all in a 5 minute period. MADNESS

Matter Will Be Damaged in Direct Proportion to its Value

Do things that have no value to us get destroyed? Nope. Instead the kids misuse the uber expensive media center we bought from pottery barn as a bakery stand (so cute and imaginative though!!). Did Owen stamp Halloween ghosts and black cats on the walls that were white and waiting to be painted? No- he chose my newly painted bedroom walls!My costume jewelry never gets taken from the jewelry box and put in a "safe place"- it is always my favorite pearl earrings or my diamond studs.
 The day my grandmothers snow globe gets broken there will be a cataclysmic reaction.

When Working Toward the Solution of a Problem,

 it Always Helps if You Know the Answer

Why do you think everyone comes to mom to solve their dispute over which animal is really from Africa? Or the best way to solve the word problem, or what to do when they're having friend troubles? Mom's always know the answers (even if we make it up) And the "mom card" trumps everything.

Nothing is as Easy as it Looks

Scaling the media center when you are 3.5 ft tall can not be easy.
That dance stuff my girls do? I took a class. It is TOUGH.
Being the youngest of five kids- not a piece of cake.
The middle child of five kids? Even worse.
Cooking and cleaning for The Herd? HARD
Raising a large family? Definatly not as easy as it looks. It is just as difficult as you might imagine!
But nothing that is worth doing is typically easy. And, if it is worth doing- it's worth doing WELL
(that one is for you Holly!)

Everything Takes Longer Than You Think

The Hubster will tell you that I have a really poor sense of time. It has gotten so bad that he adds 30 minutes to our time frame so we get "there" on time. I argue that the kids wonk the clock all up! How can it possibly take 30 minutes to get from the foyer to the van?? But in my mind, it's three seconds. There is always a lost shoe, items that need to be added to the diaper bag, someone has to go potty or we forgot Jack's Lovey.  I am working on it....

Every Solution Breeds New Problems

Storing the younger girls American Girl Dolls in the new play room just challenges Owen to figure out the secret to getting that cabinet open. Same with putting child locks on doors. And baby gates on stairs. Man, he is smart!

A Falling (or most likely thrown, in our house) Object Will Always Land Where it Can Do the Most Damage

windows, picture frames, lamps, dishes on the table, candle holders, hanging light fixtures...

See the pattern?

You Will Always Find Something in the Last Place You Look

These days we try to think about where the kids (namely the boys) would put something...and start there. Owen's two favorite hiding spots are under his pillow and in the end table that has a removable top. Jack- he just drops things wherever something else more interesting happens to be! Thankfully the girls have outgrown this... But Ella liked to keep things on her bed, Ainsley kept things in her mini wagon.

It is Never in the Last Place You Look. It is in the First Place You Look, But is Never Discovered the

First Time You Look There

Dang! That could have saved me the 30 minutes that I am   always late by!!

(I guess Mike was right!!)

Any Time You Put an Item in a "Safe Place",

it Will Never be Seen Again

true story

This is a testament to me not sweating the the small stuff.

 Take THAT Murphy.

Your Laws will not spoil my days.

Instead I shall Blog and showcase the hilarity they cause!

Comments

[Kathy Manderfield]

Jessica~ This was hysterical!! I had to go back and read this twice--& laugh again!! As the oldest of NINE kids in my family....my mom would've been excellent at writing a blog like this!! Enjoy your herd while they are young....it only gets better....and days are sure to be filled w/ memories!! Keep writing--you're great!!